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I Hate Stupid People. (An angry rant.)

2011.03.7

This is going to be an angry rant.  A bit different from my previous posts, but any fan of Glenn Beck should feel right at home, except that my rant makes sense, is intellectually sound, is rational, and didn’t make me cry for minutes on end in front of millions of people.

This is just a brief precautionary statement, if you will, because after the jump, it might get loud.  Fair warning.  In fact, as a little “I’m sorry” to people who are about to be caught in my grip of vicious rhetoric, here is OK GO’s Grammy-winning video for “Here It Goes Again”:

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Republicans are dumb.  That’s no secret to anyone with eyes, ears, and a brain, but the latest example of Republican retardation is really irking me.

I’m talking about the current climate of hating teachers’ unions and wanting to strip away educators’ benefits and ability to bargain for rights because of low test scores and pathetically unrealistic ideas about the profession.  That, and ‘vastly inflated’ teachers’ earnings.

Maybe her brain mass shrunk to make way for all the titties.

 

What to do? Teachers have it sooo easy.  I mean, why should they get paid so much?  Do they really deserve all that money?  Do you know what the average salary of an American in the private sector is?  Why do teachers get so much more, plus a vast array of benefits that other American workers would give their left ball for, but are unable to, because they lack the necessary benefits to make the surgery viable?

I’m going to set aside the fact that most Americans in private industry don’t get the same benefits because the bourgeoisie are an exceptionally greedy bunch and benefits are too expensive when there are multiple mortgages and boat payments to be made.  (Of course, there are also small businesses that legitimately can’t afford it, which bring into question why it is a business’s responsibility to provide health benefits at all, but that’s another issue.)

“Teaching, of course, is a piece of cake.  Hell, teachers are out by 3pm, right?  Real Americans work until at least five.  And real Americans don’t get a three-month vacation during prime vacation season.  We’re not French, for Christ’s sake!  We’re Americans!  We WORK!  And What the hell makes teachers think that they should be getting paid MORE THAN ME* for working 3/4 as much‽”  –amalgamation of right-wing rhetoric recently heard on Fox News

The only way one could get the impression that teaching is easy is if 1) you’re not a teacher, 2) you don’t know anything about teaching, 3) you’ve never had to be around children for more than thirty minutes at a time, 4) you had shit teachers in your youth and consequently know nothing about how an educator good at his job behaves, or 5) you have an extra chromosome somewhere and have walked around carrying a vertical state ID card all your adult life.  Even assuming that a teacher’s day ends when the students’ day ends (which it doesn’t) or that they enjoy languid quarter-year vacations every summer (which they do not), do you have any idea at all how much energy it takes to be in a classroom for even one hour?  The constant, moment-to-moment pressure, power struggles,  exasperation?  Even if all that perceived free-time was actual free-time, I’d be readily inclined to believe that teachers deserve it.

Time away from students is time for preparing lessons, preparing assignments, faculty and curriculum meetings, preparation and acquisition of classroom resources, attending professional development sessions to improve personal teaching methods and curriculum, conducting parent-teacher interviews.  Et cetera.  This doesn’t even cover dealing with intellectually-stunted school boards who want teachers to confer upon their children all manner of ill-informed dreck, from Intelligent Design to abstinence-only education to revisionist history, which no good educator worth his salt would actually let inside a classroom.

But, time away from students is still time away from students, right, and taxpayers should not be expected to fund it!  Cutting the salaries and benefits of public school employees is a great way to cut deficits in cash-strapped states!  So much better than offing the Bush tax cuts, or increasing the tax on incomes over $250,000/year from 36% to 39%, which would provide nearly $800,000,000,000 in yearly revenue.  Nope, nope, far better to crap atop those who are already cash-strapped.  Quick, someone get Ayn Rand a napkin!

Why are wealth gaps okay sometimes, but not others?  Why is income redistribution fine when it makes the rich richer, but when someone comes along talking like Jesus he’s labelled a communistic, anti-American asshole?  Christ, if Jesus were alive in America today, he’d be crucified.

“No, we can’t screw with CEO incomes!  No no no!  That completely violates the laissez-faire capitalism upon which our great country was based!  It would piss off John Galt!  You’ve heard about the Exodus, haven’t you?  Seriously, if we raise taxes on CEOs and big businesses, do you know how many creative, productive members of society will flee to somewhere less restrictive?  We might as well kill them!  John Galt just lost his erection, people!  We need to rub the gonads of private industry to bring it back!” –ibid

Of course, Republicans balk at using this same sort of logic to retain good teachers because they lack the self-awarness and intellectual sophistication necessary to see the analogy.  Maybe if we treated public teachers like we treat CEOs (sort of like bailing them out with taxpayer money so they can still have their massive, multi-million dollar salaries, benefits packages, and bonuses) we may retain some of the bright and beneficial ones, the ones who can truly inspire our younger generations.

But that can’t happen.  We all know that Republicans are intellectually incapable of solving a problem by examining the problems’ origins.  Don’t like abortion?  Ban it!  No, don’t look at how faulty (or an absence of) education contributes to unprotected sex, don’t acknowledge the correlation between poverty and rates of unwanted pregnancy.  Certainly don’t consider the history of abortion, its development and evolution.  Just BAN IT.  That will solve the entire problem, and baby Jesus will never cry in pain again (because every time an abortion is performed, you know, baby Jesus feels it, feels all of it, and howls accordingly.)  Children are underperforming in schools?  FIRE THE TEACHERS!  Don’t examine how homelessness, starvation, and absentee parenting in poverty-stricken locations may distract students somewhat and cause them to be less than model learners.  No, it MUST be the teachers, those lazy bitches that only work for half a day every day and three-quarters of the year every year.  It has nothing to do with poverty, lack of funding, or adherence to damaging (or at best useless) standardized tests that George W. Bush thought would revolutionize education and turn everyone into glaring beacons of intellect and creativity.

What is wrong with you, people on the right?  How can you be so completely dense?  How can you be so unself-aware?  How can you continue the cycle of (vincible?) ignorance and (willful?) blindness over and over again?  How can you be so easily led by elites into taking political stances so completely, diametrically opposed to your own best self-interests?

You all could have used better teachers.

 

 

 

 

*Of course, if this hypothetical American had had a teacher paid a decent wage, he’d probably have been taught that the proper expression is “more than I.”

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One Comment leave one →
  1. 2011.03.7 16:28

    Come on Man ! It’s good to see that some Americans are civilized ! We will need you when revolutions will expand all over Europe . Only American class conscienciousness will be able to prevent your Mafia from using every mean to maintain its wealth, as they did in Iraq and want to do in North Africa now .

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